OnFire #108 Two Sides of the Room

May 28, 2007

Hi Folks:

We're back from Ottawa where we had a great time visiting with our friends and seeing the sights. Check the website for a power point show of our trip.

We celebrated the Global Day of Prayer yesterday by meeting in our church vestry. It was a little cramped, but we enjoyed being able to rearrange our seating to pray together. I led worship from the acoustic guitar and we watched part of a powerful video on the power of prayer called "Transformations."

I've started a new section on the website on leadership. It will be a little while before it is ready to go up, but here's the idea. From time to time I'll add sections on Christian leadership. Here are some of the topics I'm planning. What is leadership? Communication. Character and Integrity. Relating with the opposite sex. Rest. Prayer and scripture. The leader's identity. The leader's outlook. The leader under fire. I'm excited about this and hope within the next two weeks to start putting up these articles.

Today we finish Philemon. Blessings for your week.

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Philemon 1:17 "So if you consider me a partner, welcome him as you would welcome me."*

When I was an associate pastor I think I was always in trouble with someone. At first I was so inexperienced that I was clearly out of my league. I was responsible to reestablish the youth group. A lot of parents were anxious about their teens, and so as time went by and things were slow taking off, some grumbling started. It looked like I would be a dud.

I didn't know anything about this at the time. Later someone told me that a few people were counselling patience on my behalf. I was grateful to them. Eventually things turned around with the help of some superb youth leaders. The advice of these friends was crucial.

There have been a few times when someone has interceded on my behalf. At other times I have interceded so that reconciliation could take place.

A pastor I knew had offended one of his church members. It seemed he hadn't visited quickly enough during a family crisis. Whenever he tried to talk with the man, he detected no way to overcome this relationship obstacle. I had a good relationship with the family, and so the pastor asked if there was something I could do to help. I visited the man and we talked about the offending incident. Eventually reconciliation was made possible.

Paul wrote so that Philemon and Onesimus could be reconciled. He took it upon himself to see what he could do to bring the two men together again. It was a risky move. He could be accused of interfering in someone else's business. He might make the situation worse. We have to be exceedingly careful in these situations. Yet, Paul wrote because he had influence with Philemon. He was a "dear friend, and fellow worker" (v. 1), a partner in the gospel (v.17) who led Philemon to Jesus (v.19), and he was willing to cover any outstanding debt (v.18).

On the other side, Paul knew Onesimus' heart. He had become "useful" (v.11) to Paul and helped him greatly while he was in prison (v.13) so that he would have preferred for Onesimus to stay (v.13). He could write confidently about Onesimus.

There are times when we need the help of someone else to bring about reconciliation. Try as we might, we cannot always bring it about by ourselves.

We should not, however, easily give up making reconciliation on our own behalf. I think about the times I have apologized for hurts I have caused, even unintentionally. My father told us as youngsters that it takes a big man to say he's sorry. He was right. It takes a lot of courage.

5 or 6 years ago my brother and I got into a big argument and we left each other fuming. I was sick over it. All I could think about were those families I've seen in funeral homes which were so divided that factions literally took opposite sides of the room. Only their respect for their departed loved one brought them to the same place. Later that day my brother and I apologized to each other.

We don't always do the right thing. Sometimes we pick imaginary fights with the other person. That only serves to keep the hurt fresh. Sometimes we think the other person is so hard that they wouldn't accept our apology anyway, so we don't try. Sometimes the passage of time makes us think it is too late. Sometimes we don't want to grant forgiveness. Sometimes our pride gets in the way of saying sorry.

We cannot give up working on reconciliation. Think about this verse from 2 Corinthians 5:18. "All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation." This reconciliation is not just about salvation. After all, how will the world ever see the reconciling love of God if we don't (or won't) do it first?

Hope this helps. Be onfire,

Troy

* All references New International Version, 1978. To subscribe, email onfireletter-subscribe@topica.com. Missed some OnFire letters? View the archives at http://lists.topica.com/lists/onfireletter/read and www.onfireletter.com.