"The Fruit of the Spirit is...peace."

I’m having a hard time writing this week’s On Fire. Maybe its being tired from travelling last week. It was an incredible week, with fantastic instructors and wonderful, encouraging people, but when you’re away for a week, a person gets tired.

Maybe it’s the rain and dreary day outside. I’d like to think that weather doesn’t affect my mood. After all, its only rain and I won’t melt. But I know differently. I’d love to be out in my little red row boat or working in the yard on a holiday, not inside. It seems lately that "when it rains, it pours."

Whatever the reason, today is what I call a "low motivation day." I’ve started and stopped, written and deleted, added and cut, but its not going far.

Like my motivation level, my level of peace goes up and down in all three aspects of its meaning. We can think of peace as 1) a lack of conflict, 2) inner tranquillity, and 3) peace with God.

1) I don't know about you, but my conflict level goes up and down. Romans 12:18 says, "as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." Most people who know me would probably support me in saying that I do fairly well at this one. And yet, I’m finding an interesting thing in our home as our boys approach the teen years. I have to work harder to live at peace, and at times I don’t succeed. This is not what I expected from my Christian faith journey. "Onward and upward!" Develop an area and move on. Rather, I find I have to revisit this one.

And what about the arguments in my head? I hope I’m not the only one who finds himself battling someone in their thoughts, anticipating comebacks and arguments to formulate responses and one-liners. It occurred to me some time ago that this cannot be good, and I’ve had to take this to God for help. Now I catch myself earlier in the process and I simply pray, "I’m arguing in my head again, Lord." Then I can go on without arguing. I wonder how much time and energy this devoured.

2) My level of inner tranquillity goes up and down like the tide. My worries revolve around my performance in the church and the future. I can preach 20 good sermons and then someone will say something which makes me wonder if I’ve lost their confidence.

I know I’m not alone in this. Many men experience the same thing in their jobs. For women the issues tend to revolve around security and relationships.

My issues for the future have to do with some of my dreams and my ability to reach them on a pastor’s salary. I find a disconnect between my head and heart on this one. I know that God provides all we need, and I can testify to the fact that God has never let us down in this area. We tithe 10%, and can honestly say that we have been blessed by doing this. Nonetheless, I sometimes wonder what to do with the dreams I have for even simple things that others take for granted. I have to take this to God regularly or it becomes a source of discontent. In other words, no peace.

3) Peace with God - I find the other 2 areas of peace cause more problems when I’ve wandered in obedience, devotion and trust. In this way, fear, anxiety, figthing, and discontent can all be symptoms that I am not trusting God for the future. In addition, guilt and shame are symptoms that I’m weaving on the roadway of obedience.

There is a cute church sign which reads, "No God, no peace. Know God, know peace." I know this is true. The closer we grow to God, the more peace we experience. The more we trust him, the more we grow in obedience, the more peace we experience. True peace, in all its forms, begins with our relationship with God. I hope that you have experienced the peace that comes from a relationship with Jesus Christ. If not, why not? This is the platform on which lasting and real peace is built.

For those of us who have already experienced that base level of trust in Jesus Christ, our task is go on from there. Each day God calls us to walk more closely to him. May we experience his peace more fully in our hearts, lives and relationships.

"May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it." (1 Thessalonians 5:23-24)

I hope this helps. Be On Fire,

Troy

ON FIRE is a weekly letter of encouragement by Troy Dennis. This letter published May 23, 2005. www.onfireletter.com