I remember a 32 ounce insulated mug I used to have. It was a blue Mickey Mouse mug that I found at a discount shop in Florida. When I saw it, I thought, "Wow, what a great coffee cup!" The price was right, I picked up a bargain, and went home with my souvenir.

A week or two later, I made coffee in my office and thought, "Why bother coming back to refresh my coffee - I’ll just make a big cup and I’ll be set for the morning." To my surprise, that mug held most of the pot. I settled in to a productive morning of work, satisfied at how much time I would save now that I had my morning’s coffee supply at the desk. By 10 o’clock I drained my coffee pot, I mean mug. Talk about a productive morning!! I was primed and ready to take on the world.

There was a problem, however. Jan made me aware of it when I came home for lunch. She tells me I was really, really grumpy and really impatient. I just remember that the world seemed to be in slow motion. Nothing was moving fast enough for me. Jan told me in no uncertain terms that drinking so much coffee at once was a bad idea. Did I mention I was really grumpy and impatient?

That was a funny incident. When I came down from my caffeine buzz, we laughed about it and I learned my lesson. Not all problems with patience are as minor or as funny, however. I remember a day when I came closer than I want to admit to hurting one of our boys when I became impatient. I didn’t hurt him, but I saw something in my heart that day which scared me. It terrified me, actually.

It was an incredibly stressful time in the life of the church and Jan was coming out of her second post-partum depression. I was at the end of my ability to handle the pressure and it scared me. Thankfully, a friend connected us with another ministry couple who understood. They helped us more than they’ll probably ever know.

From my own experience, I see three problems with patience. First, the people closest to us are the ones who suffer through our performances. Our spouses, parents, children, and sometimes even employees have front-row seats for our displays of impatience. Amazingly, when we think it is important we can show great restraint, but often we save restraint for others and let our guard down around home.

Second, the more pressure and frustration we experience, the more likely impatience will become a problem. My guess is that you already know this is true. You’ve experienced it. Troubles at work lead to sharp words at home. Relationship, money, or health issues may also lead to patience problems. I love Paul’s words about this, however. "But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed." (2 Corinthians 4:7-9)

And, third, there are some people who excel at testing our patience. I love the way someone said it once. We all have "porcupines" in our lives - people who are prickly and require great care in handling. Encounters with them leave their bristles embedded under our skin. While none of us wants to think of ourselves this way, we have to consider that we may even be someone else’s porcupine!

I love the book of Proverbs. In it we find some neat statements about patience.

"Patient people have great understanding, but the quick-tempered display folly." (14:29) I have found that when I blow up, it costs me something - money, time, credibility, respect. It pays to be patient.

"A person's wisdom gives patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense." (19:11) Not every offense is worth it. It takes wisdom and patience to know that sometimes the issue is not the issue.

"Through patience a ruler can be persuaded" (25:15) The best things in life take patience to attain.

I expect that problems with patience will never entirely go away. There will always be tests of my strength and character. My hope is that, with each trial, I might display more of the same patience that God shows to each one of us.

I hope this helps. Be On Fire

Troy

ON FIRE is a weekly letter of encouragement by Troy Dennis. This letter published May 30, 2005. www.onfireletter.com