Hi Folks!

Happy Father’s Day yesterday. I received a tarp to replace the holey one I took camping last week. We all shared a laugh over that one. The boys gave me a new fishing reel also. I bought the last one when I was a young teen, so it doesn’t owe me anything.

We’re looking at 1 Timothy 6:11 for Father’s Day and we’ll return to the psalms next week.

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1Timothy 6:11 But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness.*

When I was still a very young child, I asked my father, "When will I be man?"

"You’ll know," he said to me.

How does a dad answer this question? What makes a man? Its not an easy thing to answer.

My father was not alone in his answer. Since the 60's we’ve had a children’s TV show here in Canada called "Mr. Dressup." The main character, Mr. Dressup, told stories to puppet figures Casey and Finnegan. In every show they also visited the Tickle Trunk, a brightly coloured box from which they pulled imaginative costumes. (By the way - producers announced this week that Mr. Dressup will go off the air soon. It has been some years since Ernie Coombs, the show’s star, died and the show has been in reruns for eons)

Back to my point - One day Casey asked Mr. Dressup the same question. "When will I be a grown-up?" Poor Casey - as a puppet he would never grow up. Mr. Dressup, however, didn’t see it this way. "You’ll know," he said. "You’ll know."

So - what does it take to be a man? Is it about age? The responsibility we take on? Having children? A job? Independence? Doing "manly" things, like sports, hunting, fishing and boating? Bravery and courage? What about strength and size?

I remember when I won my first real arm wrestle with my father. Of course, as a child I won as he let me. But one day when I was fourteen we sprawled out on the floor to try again. Someone said "Go," and we took up the tension. The look on his face changed as my arm pressed. I could feel him push back and for a brief time our arms were upright. Our arms shook with the tension. Soon, however, I had him down and I won. 24 years have passed and I remember it like it was yesterday - a rite of passage on the way to manhood.

But what is a man?

In one of Paul’s letters to his young assistant Timothy, he wrote these words - But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness.

This passage tells me that being a man is not what we often think it is. We somehow feel that we need to prove our manliness to gain respect and honour. If we don’t, other men will look down on us, and maybe we aren’t men after all. How do you most deeply insult a man? Insinuate he isn’t one.

Manliness is not about this, however, for Timothy was too young to have proven himself. Paul told him not to worry about this. "Do not let anyone look down on you because you are young..." (1 Timothy 4:12).

The measure of a man is not age, status, salary, wealth, position, parenthood, independence, toughness, strength, competitiveness, or our ability to do manly things.

Paul also tells us that being a man of God is not what we often think it is. There is something in us which feels like we need to prove our godliness, too. Get a group of men together, and soon we’ll have each other sized up. In one ministerial to which I belonged, someone had wisely perceived this so that there was actually a rule that no one was allowed to talk about the size of their church.

The phrase Paul uses, "man of God," is often used in the Old Testament for the most godly of the godly - Moses, David, Elijah, Elisha, prophets and angels. Timothy, while bright and gifted, wasn’t old enough to have proven his godliness, so it must be about something else.

We don’t need to prove ourselves to God. Paul told the believers at Ephesus,, "For he chose us in him before the creation of the world..." (Ephesians 1:4) Before we had the chance to prove ourselves, God loved us and looked on us with favour. It wasn’t about anything we were doing, because nothing was here yet.

When will I be a man? Will it be by proving myself somehow? No, it will be when I recognize that being a man, of God, is about belonging to God. Give myself to him, fully, completely. Forget the images of manhood I had, leave behind the ways I tried to prove my manhood, and simply let God love me.

Now, of course, I can’t live any way I please. Paul says, "pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness." If I’m prone to proving myself, I’ll see this list as another way to earn God’s approval. But is not about proving my godliness, its about imitating the Man of Men, Jesus Christ.

I’ve been talking to men primarily, but the same message applies to women. Jan lately has been feeling that she just isn’t doing enough. I don’t think she’s the only woman who feels this way. But its not about proving ourselves. We don’t need to earn God’s love or respect - God loved us first.

Hope this helps,

Troy

ON FIRE is a weekly letter of encouragement by Troy Dennis. This letter published June 19, 2006.