Jan and I attended our local performing arts centre on Saturday to watch a local group put on their annual Christmas production. It was very well produced and all the actors, many of whom are high school aged, did a fantastic job.

Their production this year put together a number of short scenes based around the Christmas season. My favourite parts were segments involving two middle-aged women, previously unknown to each other, who were waiting for their buses after a long day of shopping. One is impatient, loud, insulting. The other is optimistic, almost eternally patient. There was lots to laugh about in this set-up. At one point "Impatient Lady" told "Patient Lady," "I'd like to take a vacation in your head!"

Their viewpoints and outlook were very different, but one thing seemed common to them. Neither one could find a good man. In fact, this idea of not being able to find a good man was the thought which tied together the various short scenes. From Adam and Eve, to a couple in a bar, to teen girls and Roald Dahl's version of Cinderella, characters agreed - "Is it possible to find a decent man?"

Jan and I talked about this after. I was concerned personally and as a pastor. Do a lot of women feel this way? How do I measure up? How would I tackle this kind of topic as a pastor?

Its not the first time I've seen these views about us as men. They don't catch me by surprise. But, being a man, its hard for me to fully grasp.

I feel drawn to Joseph today as I consider the characters of Christmas. We don't know much about him. All we know could be summed up in less words than it would take to write a newspaper death notice. And, while we know more about Joseph than we do about most people in history, we know less than we would like to know.

He was a Jew, born in the 20's BC, from the clan of Judah. His father Jacob's family could boast many famous people in Jewish history - Rahab, Boaz, Ruth, Jesse, David, Solomon, and all the rest of the kings of Judah. There would have been pride in his clan, but it wouldn't have made day-to-day life any easier. As they say - that and a $1.50 will get you a cup of coffee.

Like all of King David's descendants, there were family connections in Bethlehem, but Joseph and his family lived in Nazareth, about 100km away. Nazareth wasn't particularly notable. Relatively isolated, it was considered backwater, "quaint" at best, in the way some city folks say it so that they don't offend sensitive local ears. Those who weren't as polite simply asked, "Can anything good come from Nazareth?" (John 1:46)

Joseph was a carpenter and taught Jesus the trade. He married a young lady from town named Mary, and together they had at least 6 children, not including Jesus. It sounds like a large family by today's standards, but was not unusual.

We don't know when Joseph died - probably before Jesus' public ministry began. We suspect this from Mark 6:3 ("Mary's son") and John 19:27 - It seems unlikely that Jesus would have told John to look after Mary if Joseph were still living.

That's not much to sum up a life. "BEN-JACOB, Jospeh - passed away suddenly in Nazareth. Survived by his wife Mary (nee Judah), many sons and daughters. Joseph was a carpenter." (Did you ever think about what your family will write in your newspaper memorial or put on your headstone? I know - its a little morbid to think about. )

Hold on - I've left out the important part. "Joseph . . . was a righteous man..." (Matthew 1:19)

Is it hard to find a good man? Perhaps, but Joseph was a good man. Read the accounts to see for yourself. He knew Mary's baby was not his. Even in his pain / hurt / confusion / jealousy / anger, he was concerned for Mary's reputation and so would not see her humiliated. He responded to the angel and married Mary. He was patient about intimate relations. Despite limited finances, he presented Jesus at the temple. And, he presented Jesus as his own firstborn. As an example of Joseph's dedication to God, each year he took his family to Jerusalem for Passover.

So, what do we do with this? Joseph shows us what we ought to be aiming for. He was honourable, loyal, godly, caring, sensitive to God, hardworking. Not there yet? I'm not either, but I'm working on it. Don't give up.

Don't see it in your man? Keep praying for him. It is tempting to give up hope, to be hardened and cynical, to lose respect. Remember that God can change a person's character. Single but looking? Don't settle - character matters.

Hope this helps,

Be OnFire.

Troy

REFERENCES - Tribe of Judah Matt. 1:2-16; Lk 2:4; Engaged to Mary Matt 1:18; Lk 2:5; Joseph's visions Matt 1:20, 24; 2:13,14; Joseph's patience Matt 1:25; Joseph and Jesus were carpenters Matt 13:55; Mk 6:3; Other children 13:55,56; Presented Jesus at temple Lk 2:23,24; Did everything required by the Law Lk 2:39; Went to Passover Lk 2:41; Joseph raised Jesus as his own Lk 3:23; cf. Jn 1:45; 6:42.

Dec. 4, 2006.