"The fruit of the Spirit is . . . gentleness" - Galatians 5:23*

When the boys were younger, we bought a trailer to tow behind my mountain bike. That was a lot of fun. I took Mark and Ian all over Saint John, where we lived at the time, and they usually enjoyed going along for the ride.

One day when Ian was about 3, I took him to Rockwood Park. That was one of my favourite spots to go to get away. Even in the middle of the city, it felt like we were in the middle of nowhere.

I chose some easy paths, not really true mountain bike material, but it was fun. I heard Ian laughing as we dipped and doodled along the gravel fire roads. He was enjoying it as much as I was.

As we rode along, I thought it might be neat to try out some real off-road trails, so I turned onto a narrow short-cut carved by hikers. It was definitely a lot bumpier than the paths we had left. Rocks and roots tossed the trailer and Ian’s helmet thumped and bumped against the back of the trailer.

Concerned for him, I asked him if he wanted to keep going. "Go, go, go," was all he had to say. I thought, "Wow - he must really like this." Surprised but inspired, I continued to knock us around another section of the trail.

After a particularly rough piece, Ian cried out from the back, "Go, go, go, go."

"Cool," I thought. "Ian loves this stuff." I cranked it up a little more and attacked the trail. By this point there were all sorts of noises coming from the back. It sounded kind of like this as we pounded along

crash (trailer)

"Go" (Ian)

thump (Ian’s helmet)

"Go"

rattle (my chain flapping)

"Go"

booomp, booomp (bike and trailer tires landing on the trail)

"Go"

clink, clink, (trailer hitch rattling)

"Go, go, go."

After a few minutes of this, I turned to check on Ian again. I remember the look on his face. His lips said, "Go," but his expression said, "Stoppppppppppppp!"

I called back to him, "Do you want to stop, or keep going?"

He immediately started yelling, "‘Top it, ‘top it, ‘top it, ‘top it, ‘top it." Evidently his three-year-old mind had confused the terms "stop" and "go," and my suggestion to stop cleared his confusion.

Just to make sure, I asked him again.

"‘Top it, ‘top it, ‘top it, ‘top it." That seemed clear enough to me, and so I walked us back to the main road.

I’m thinking about Ian’s rough ride as I consider that gentleness is about how we treat the people who go with us on the path of life - friends, family, spouses, co-workers, employees, children. How we handle the path determines their ride. We can make it rough by hammering along without regard for anyone else, or we can take it more carefully to make it easier for the others. The path may not always be smooth, but that doesn’t mean we have to make it worse for those behind us.

The word for gentleness can also mean humility. Gentleness and humility are related. Humility is about considering others as well as ourselves. When I think that the ride is only about what I want and where I want to go, I forget that there are other people with me. Or, I misread their reactions to suit me. The result is that they get bounced and jostled. Their ride becomes rough when it did not need to be.

Gentleness is about smoothing out the ride for the others around us. Whether its being physically gentle, or being gentle of spirit in handling someone else and their problems, God calls us to gentleness. Gentleness was one of the marks of Jesus: "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:28-30).

I’ll leave you with these words. "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." (Proverbs 15:1)

Hope this helps. Be On Fire,

Troy

ON FIRE is a weekly letter of encouragement by Troy Dennis. This letter published June 19, 2005. www.onfireletter.com